


No One Is Safe In The Garden Of Yerlik

by The_Red_Reality



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Alex I saw what you almost did to Hamid and that wasn't very sexy of you, Angst, Canon Divergence, Character Death, Guilt, Hurt Maybe Comfort, Other, Resurrection, Spoilers for Episode 184, Suicide Idealisation, Trauma, dont throw your life partner off a bear, tragic backstories, we don't respect his craft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:55:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29690511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Red_Reality/pseuds/The_Red_Reality
Summary: In the Garden of Yerlik, in that fateful moment in episode 184, we all thought Hamid was gone. Luckily, Hamid survived to live another day, and we are all thankful for it.But what if he didn't?Sure, they have resurrection. But what if it was more complicated than that?What if Hamid doesn't want to be saved?
Relationships: Azu/Kiko (Rusty Quill Gaming), Hamid Saleh Haroun al-Tahan & Azu, Hamid Saleh Haroun al-Tahan & Azu & Celiquillithon "Cel" Sidebottom & Zolf Smith, Hamid Saleh Haroun al-Tahan & Zolf Smith, Zolf Smith & Oscar Wilde, Zolf Smith/Oscar Wilde, any ship could apply but its up to you
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	1. A Tactical Retreat

**Author's Note:**

> I have been very very stressed out these parts few episodes because I am so worried about Hamid. I'm worried about everyone else (Wilde has been my absolute favourite NPC so you can imagine how I felt waiting for those episodes to come out), but I'm mostly worried about my lizard boy. I hold him very dear to me and I love him with all my heart.
> 
> So naturally I have to make him suffer a little bit more than he already does. And you guys get to read it!
> 
> Enjoy this suffering! I update every Thursday. Ish.
> 
> P.S: If for some weird miracle Alex or someone on the team reads this; Fuck you Alex. I love you, but I hate you so much. I don't respect your craft anymore.
> 
> (Lydia and Helen I love you, Bryn and Ben you're on thin fucking ice)

When Hamid started adventuring, it made him sick. He was horrified by the blood and gore, the sheer intensity of the violence, and how the reality of death was always just there.

These days, it makes him feel alive.

He’s growing more powerful by the day, he can feel it in his veins and in his scaly skin, it thrums through his body in the that heady fashion that he chases. He knows it leads somewhere, but he just has to wait and see where his magic leads him. 

Right now, it’s lead him to a fight in the Garden of Yerlik, where by the looks of things, reality has cracked and let in monsters that Hamid can barely conceive. That’s okay though, because with his magic he can render himself invisible, and can fly. He’s untouchable, and it doesn’t help that his friends are too. He watches as the portal closes up, and he grins to himself besides it all. There’s a new foe to face, and Hamid is sure that they’ll take it on, like they do every foe. 

He is unstoppable.

Hamid gasps as he feels a shooting pain erupt in his invisible foot, then another one through his leg. He looks down in time to see the vines that have been slowly surrounding them, Hamid has foolishly ignored them, piercing his skin, one by one. In his giddiness and his excitement for casting new spells he had quite forgotten that not all creatures use sight to sense. 

He screams out in pain, helpless to the vines as they skewer his arms, his torso, he can only watch his blood, stark against the snow, and a flash of the horrified faces of everyone else. Hamid strains his arms, trying to cast a spell, fend them off, anything other than hang here in mute horror and agony. 

When a vine pierces his torso through his back and out through his chest, the last thing Hamid thinks is a weak, oh dear.  
Then he falls to the ground, dead.

***

Zolf watches as the invisibility wanes off, and his heart is in his throat as he sees the battered, unmoving form of Hamid. He narrows his eyes, then lurches forward to hack at the vines, a growl starting in the back of his throat. His mind is clear with rage, and he only focuses on hacking and slicing and tearing at the vines, putting in all of his white hot energy. He vaguely registers Azu doing the same, as they pass each other many times. 

When the last vine falls, Zolf leans against his glaive, his chest heaving. He doesn’t let himself look down at the form below him, he moves his gaze onto the next thing they need to fight, only to find a grim looking Wilde and Sumutnyerl, a Cel with a hand over their mouth, and a kneeling Azu with tears running down her face. That is what makes Zolf look down. Hamid looks so much smaller like this, face down in the snow, his hair matted with snow and blood. His entire body has been mangled and sliced, and Zolf knows in his heart that he has already gone.

Zolf leans down, puts a hand on Hamid’s still shoulder and casts a healing spell, and he watches as the wounds knit back together. But still he doesn’t move. He pauses, then rolls Hamid over so he can check a pulse, but he doesn’t need to. Hamid watches the sky with blank, unmoving eyes, all the life that usually animates those deep brown eyes completely gone. He takes a breath, then watches Azu gently close Hamid’s eyes.

There’s a moment of stillness in the forest where nothing moves and the wind isn’t blowing, and to Zolf it lasts a lifetime. This is worse than when he left Hamid the first time, because Hamid was still around. He was still going to expensive restaurants and wearing fancy suits and approaching everything with that blinding optimism that makes Zolf both so frustrated and so inspired. Now, the only thing Hamid is doing is reminding Zolf about all that has been lost, and how much harder things will be from now on.

“Zolf, you can you cast that thing from before? You know, that corpse freshening spell, so, um, we can go back? We can still get Hamid back, he isn’t gone, remember!” Cel says, breaking the delicate silence that had fallen over them. Like a spell, Zolf blinks, and hope floods him. He nods, unable to talk, and casts the spell. Hamid doesn’t move, but in Zolf’s eyes he looks slightly more alive. There’s still hope.

He says that phrase in his head like a prayer, because to him, it is.

“We need to leave this garden,” Oscar says, placing a gentle hand on Zolf’s shoulder, “We can’t continue without all of us, and there is no time limit on reaching the middle of the garden. There is a time limit on Hamid.”“I agree,” Sumutnyerl chimes in, shaking her head as if coming out of a trance. “The garden will be here. Let us go back and bring your friend back.”

Azu nods, then picks up Hamid as carefully as she can. She makes a strangled noise at the back of her throat, but she takes a moment to breathe and hold Hamid to her chest. Zolf gives her a firm nod, a weak attempt at a smile, then starts marching out of the garden, pulling Wilde along with him. The trek back from the garden is uneventful and quiet, as if the whole forest is holding it’s breath, and soon they see Sohra at her place next to a fire. She turns, and when she sees the state of the party, regards them with a stony face. 

Without further hesitation, the two druids turn into their eagle form and they all start their journey back to the bear. Zolf doesn’t take his eyes off Hamid the whole time, watching his oddly pale form tucked under Azu’s arm. He wants to hold onto Hamid and never let him go. The instinct to protect him is fierce, and he can’t help but feel the sting of failure. He wasn’t watching Hamid when he died. It was impossible, he was invisible, but they could have been more careful, communicated more about their attacks, something-  
There’s a gentle pat on his shoulder, a long slender hand that Zolf instantly knows belongs to Wilde. It’s awkward to contort their bodies to look each other in the eye, but when they do Oscar gives Zolf a broad smile and cups his face briefly. Zolf covers Oscar’s hand with his own, and closes his eyes. He knows he’s worried about Hamid. He can’t think about it. He’s just got to wait until Hamid is back, and then he can relax. Perhaps never let Hamid out of his sight ever again.

He holds Oscar’s hand for the rest of the trip, but it can’t completely rid him of the writhing anxiety in his stomach.

***

Sohra and Sumutnyerl place the party down in the courtyard outside the hall where they resurrected the last party members, and Sohra instantly goes inside, signalling for them to stay put. They all lurk awkwardly, Azu clutching onto Hamid like a stiff wind will blow his body out of her grasp. 

That is when Skraak walks up to Zolf, signalling for him to pay attention. Zolf gives him a single glance and a grunt.  
“I’m going to go tell the others we’re back, “Skraak states, his expression blank, “I’ll tell the others about Hamid. Anything else you want me to tell them?”Zolf stonewalls him, not wanting to have this conversation. After a brief and icy silence, Wilde sighs and replies, “No, thank you, Skraak. That sounds like a rather good idea. Make sure they don’t panic, the situation will be remedied quickly.”Skraak squints up at Oscar. “Will it?”“What do you mean?” Zolf sharply interrupts, glaring at Skraak. Skraak stares back. “You’re so certain he’s going to want to come back,” Skraak stiffly says, his eyes never leaving Zolf’s, “But what if he doesn’t? What happens then?”  
Cel clears their throat and walks over to the group from where they have been quietly talking at Azu. “Skraak, there’s no need to say that at this point. We can only truely know until after the process, and, and, and then we can deal with it. Hamid is young, and he has so much to live for! There’s every possibility he’ll come back.”Skraak stares at Cel for a long moment, before walking away. As he walks, he says over his shoulder, “That’s exactly what I thought about Meerk.”  
And with that, Skraak disappears into the city. 

Zolf lurches forward in an angry attempt to follow him, but both Wilde and Cel place their hands on his shoulders before he gets far.  
“He doesn’t mean it like that, Zolf, he’s still upset about Meerk not coming back, and he doesn’t know how to handle it. Hamid will come back. He has to.”  
Zolf glares up at both of them, grinds his teeth together, then throws his hands up in defeat.

Thankfully, that is the moment Sohra returns. She glances between the party, nodding slightly.  
“The ceremony is ready. I do not believe I must repeat what I said last time… It is uncommon for an event like this happens twice in a row, so forgive us the lack of speed. Before we can proceed, we must choose a guide.”“I will,” Azu and Zolf say at the same time. They look at each other, Azu’s eyes narrowing ever so slightly.  
“I knew him before you did, and he looks up to me. And, you know. Cleric of Hope,” Zolf says, trying to keep the impatient edge out of his voice. Azu holds Hamid closer to her chest.

“You might have known him before, but I’m sorry Zolf, but you left. I don’t like to say it, but it is the truth. And from what I have seen from your relationship, he is more likely to argue with you than blindly follow.”“What, and he’d blindly follow you?”  
“No. But there is more of a chance that a gentle approach is what Hamid needs.”  
Zolf lets out a long sigh, hating how right she is. It’s not right. He should be the one to bring Hamid back, it’s what he deserves. Or is it because Zolf is guilty about leaving in Prague?

“Okay,” Zolf softly says, coming up to Azu and putting a gentle hand on Hamid’s back. He absolutely doesn’t flinch at the lack of warmth under Hamid’s clothes. “Just… Bring him back in one piece.”“I will.” Azu replies, placing a hand over Zolf’s. She squeezes it briefly, then follows Sohra into the hall. Zolf watches the doors close, then slumps to the ground, numbly looking into space.

“He’s going to be okay,” Zolf says out loud, to no one in particular. There is a murmured agreement from Cel and Wilde, but he doesn’t really register it. He simply stares, and hopes with every fibre of his being that Hamid will walk out of those doors when the ceremony is over.


	2. The Waiting Game

Azu places Hamid on the cold ground of the ritual hall, trying to be gentle with his limbs. He’s already so small, it breaks Azu’s heart to see him like this. As she waits for the ceremony to begin, she takes Hamid’s hand in her own, smiling a bittersweet smile over how her hand dwarfs his. She loves Hamid so much, as if he has been her family for her entire life. He deserves so much more than this ending, so Azu will do anything she can to bring him back.

The ceremony begins, and Azu tries to relax into the the experience, but her nerves mean that it takes longer for her to go under into the dreamscape. She doesn’t even notice that she’s in the dreamscape, as she is keeping an ear out for echoed rooms and pen scratches. What alerts her to the change is a high pitched giggle, and the squeak of shoes on polished floors. Her eyes flutter open and she finds herself in a classroom. Azu has never been in a classroom of this size or decadence before, but the chalkboards with mathematical equations and the neat lines of desks have a clear meaning.

Azu stands from where she has been kneeling, and looks around. The classroom is empty besides herself, but she can still hear the giggling drawing nearer. She carefully walks over to the door to investigate, but before she can so much as touch the door handle, it flies open and slams shut again. A very small figure darts between her legs and further into the classroom, then sits themselves at one of the desks, leaning over a workbook and intently doing work. Azu tears up when she sees the figure is Hamid, but as a young teenager. 

“Hamid?” Azu carefully whispers, and Hamid jerks up. He stares at Azu, before blinking innocently and holding up his workbook.  
“I’m doing my work, see Miss! I finished chapter 10, so I went on with chapter 11, even though the class isn’t up to it yet.”Hamid’s chest puffs out a little, and he looks at Azu with an expectant stare. Azu is delighted by how adorable his voice is, with his Egyptian accent and how it is somehow it’s even higher pitched and crackly from puberty.  
“I’m not a teacher, Hamid. I’m Azu.”Instantly Hamid’s posture turns to a slouch, and he sighs in relief. “Oh, good. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m in the middle of something.”  
Azu watches as Hamid hops down from the desk and runs over to the window, having to stand on a table to peer out of the window of the classroom. He giggles again, and gestures for Azu to look through the window with him.  
“My best friend Bertie is going to meet me here. We’re pranking Elliott Reeves and I need to be here with my magic. Did you know I can do magic? I just found out last week, look!”  
Hamid excitedly clicks his fingers and a few sparks burst from his hands, dying away before they hit anything. He gives Azu a wide, expectant grin.

“Hamid...” Azu starts, trying very hard to not be endeared by his show, “Who is Elliott?”  
“Oh, a boy in my class. He just does homework all the time and gets all red when he gets asked questions in class. Bertie says he needs a good pranking to cheer him up a bit, don’t you think?”  
Azu tries to keep her voice soft as she says, “No, I think that’s terrible! Imagine if you were him, would you feel better?”  
Hamid’s face contorts, as if he’s trying very hard not to think about it.  
“But- But Bertie said-“  
“Has listening to Bertie worked out before in the past, Hamid?”

Hamid freezes, and his hands on the window sill turn white. With a single glance back to Azu, he bolts for the door, and out into the corridor. A shard of ice cold horror shoots into Azu’s heart, and before she can stop herself she is running down the corridor after him.  
“Hamid, wait!”  
She keeps running, heart in her throat, desperate to reach him. She can’t lose him, not now after all they’ve been through.

She ignores the sinking sensation that she’s already lost him, and keeps running.

***

Zolf has not moved. He is still kneeling on the ground next to the hall, staring at a fault in the wooden flooring. Wilde has situated himself right next to Zolf, their thighs lightly touching in a subtle reminder that he isn’t alone. Cel is pacing, mumbling to themself about who knows what, looking in their jacket and counting things so many times that it becomes apparent that it’s simply to stop them from being idle. 

“It’s strange, isn’t it,” Oscar eventually says, giving Zolf a sidelong glance, “Last time we were the ones in there, and Hamid was out here. I wonder how he spent his time.”Zolf shrugs, but he tries to look at Oscar. He knows what he’s doing, he’s trying to stop Zolf from getting reflective, to not fall into himself like he’s so prone to do. Oscar doesn’t seem to mind the lack of proper response, because he chuckles to himself and says, “If only if he wasn’t such a snob about Harrison Campbell, he could have had a wonderful time.”“It’s a crime that he doesn’t like them. They’re practically written for him,” Zolf chimes in, watching how a smile blooms on Oscar’s face. It’s strange, really, seeing this smile on him after so long of seeing the scar impede it. The scar made Oscar self conscious, even though any genuine smile on Oscar’s smile makes Zolf’s heart warm. It’s nice to see him smile without those memories to weigh him down.

“They are, aren’t they? Perhaps when he’s older you should reintroduce them to him.”“Maybe. He should start on his later work, they’re more up his alley.”Oscar chuckles again, and rests an arm around Zolf’s shoulders, gently coaxing him to settle under his arm. Due to their size difference Zolf’s head rests against Oscar’s chest, but Oscar doesn’t seem to mind. 

“I’m worried about Hamid,” Zolf blurts out, wincing at the admission. Oscar simply hums in response, and tightens the arm around his shoulders. Zolf sighs, and passes a hand over his face, rubbing at his eyelids as an attempt to make them less heavy.  
“I just… I don’t know if he’ll want to come back. He talks so much about how he feels guilty about everything, and he tries so hard to make up for that. I just worry that now he has the chance to, I don’t know, shed that or something, he’s just going to take it. It’s his choice in the end, I know that. But I don’t want him to go.”  
Wilde nods. “Did you give me a choice?”“Yeah. Obviously. I told you that you could come back, but it was your choice if you wanted to stay. Then you were a git about it and made me say that you wanted to hear me say that I needed you and all that bullshit.”“You do need me though,” Oscar laughs, raising an eyebrow at him. Zolf would be irritated by it, if it wasn’t for the sheer intensity of the gratitude in his eyes as well. Instead, Zolf huffs, and mutters, “Yeah, I do.”  
Zolf watches as Oscar picks up his hand, and gently kisses it before clutching it to his heart. It’s such an intimate gesture that Zolf’s ears grow hot, but he can’t look away. They still don’t know what this is, but they’re working on it. And if Oscar keeps doing what he’s doing, Zolf will die a happy man.

“Hamid will be fine. He listens to Azu, more than anyone. Including you, I’m afraid. She knows exactly what to say to make him want to come back.”Zolf makes himself nod. “Let’s hope so.”  
***

Azu is completely lost. The school has turned into a maze of sprawling locker lined hallways, staircases leading strange places, and wide, empty rooms- Or are all rich schools like this? Azu doesn’t know. She also doesn’t know where Hamid is. Every now and then she hears the soft sound of running feet, the squeak of a door opening and closing, or the sharp breath of a gasp, but she has not seen Hamid at all. 

She won’t give up. If she spends days, months, years in here, so be it. 

Azu pauses to get her bearings, glancing around yet another hallway. Her eyes are drawn to a curious sight, one that she hasn’t seen in this entire building; An open door. Well, it isn’t exactly open, it’s ajar, with only a sliver of light passing through. Azu takes this as a sign, and strides up to the door. She listens through, not disheartened when she hears nothing, and slowly opens the door.

Behind it, there is not a classroom. Instead, it looks like a flat, a modestly decorated one, but still a rich one. When she looks back where she came from there is still a hallway, but not the school one. Azu takes a deep breath, then walks through the door and into the flat. Through the windows is an empty city, the sky an array of colours, a beautiful attempt of evening. The flat is also empty, albeit for a single, stationary figure with their head in their hands at the table. This Hamid is wearing a brighter version of his one of his usual outfits, giving him a more youthful feel, but his posture tells the story of a lifetime of weary regrets.

Azu realises that Hamid isn’t actually still. His whole body is convulsing ever so slightly in a worrying fashion, but it takes him sniffing for Azu to realise he’s crying. Usually Hamid doesn’t hold back when he cries, he calls himself an ugly crier, but this… This is a silent grief. As if he’s ashamed to even have a right to cry.

“Hamid, are you alright?”Hamid jumps, and whips around to wildly stare at Azu. When he sees her, he sags, taking in a few hiccuping breaths.  
“O-Oh, Azu, it’s just… Just you. Sorry, I didn’t r-realise you were coming, I would have tidied up a bit.”“You don’t need to do that. It’s just me.”Hamid tries to smile, but it’s a ghost of his usual. He takes a few steps backwards and slouches into a chair, hugging himself, and a dark expression overcomes his face. Azu walks over and kneels next to the chair, gently grabbing his hand.  
“What’s wrong, Hamid?”  
Hamid stares at Azu as if he didn’t hear the question, then bursts into tears again. Azu leans forward and envelopes him into a hug, murmuring reassurances. This is familiar. This is something Azu can handle, something Azu can talk Hamid through. They haven’t really talked about their pasts before, they haven’t had time, but Azu is happy to start now.

Everything is going to be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cue Falsettos* Everything is going to be alright! Right? Nothing bad has ever happened when That phrase has been said!
> 
> :3 :3
> 
> Writing Hamid as a child / teenager made my little heart explode, he's so adorable!!!! He's just so SMALL! 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the chapter, the next one has some more Cel! And we get to see what Hamid's deepest fears and insecurities are. Are they too much for Azu to handle?
> 
> More importantly, will Zolf throw Wilde off a bear?

**Author's Note:**

> Zolf is a fascinating character, and Ben is one of my favourite people in Rusty Towers. I love listening to how Zolf tackles his grief, and how he tries to talks out his problems even though he isn't very good at it. It's what the kids call 'relatable'.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter, the next one we get some Azu POV and delve into Hamid's dreamscape...


End file.
